The Oxford Dictionary gives this definition: dejected, desolate, despairing, despondent, downcast, inconsolable, in despair, melancholy, miserable, wretched, bad, inadequate, incompetent, inept, poor, beyond hope, desperate, irremediable, irreparable, irretrievable, futile, impossible, impracticable, pointless, useless, vain, worthless.
Hi! My internet nickname is Chippewa^, and, when I read that definition above, I remember how well that described exactly how I felt once upon a time. It took twenty-nine years to bring me to that point. Twenty-nine years of countless rejections and never being able to meet approval. When my husband discarded me for another man, that was the ultimate rejection.
Does this describe how you feel about yourself and/or life? There have been a couple of times in my life when I have felt "most" of those. You get to a point where nothing seems to matter any more. Why bother? NOTHING you do or try ever seems to work anyhow. One night, I had decided that I had had enough. Obviously I should never have been born. I was of no use to anyone or anything, including myself.
Do you wonder if there really IS a God, or, is evolution the reality for our existence? Do you wonder if God even knows who you are? Do you ever wonder if He really does love you? I certainly had. Many times! I had wondered if perhaps He belonged in my dusty shoebox of broken dreams in the attic, where Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, and the toothfairy lived along with all my defeats and failures!
One night, I decided to find out. My one last hope. IF God did not somehow reveal to me that He truly does exist, then I felt that I had nothing left to lose anyway, and committing suicide would be an end to this nightmare called Life!
Fact or Fiction? I needed to know! Without a doubt!
I wanted more than just to "be" a Christian. I wanted what I read in the Bible to become a FACT in my life. I "did" all the "Christian" things....and I felt that there was so much more to this lifestyle than what I was experiencing. I was at a point in my life where nothing seemed any different than those that were not Christians. No better....no worse. Three months after I discussed this with a Christian sister of mine, my "whole" life literally changed....and it has never been the same since. God did reveal Himself to me and showed me that He IS "still" the miracle-working God that He was in the Old Testament! Praise God!
If you have ever felt hopelessness, or are feeling that way now, I encourage you to read my TESTIMONY and find out HOW God revealed Himself to me in a mighty way. This revelation changed my "hopelessness" into "hope". Hope became a life where I experienced God "in action". He became involved in helping me through my negative circumstances. I found out that we can develop a very personal and intimate relationship with Him. He really is not sitting in Heaven on His throne just watching us as we run around like "chickens with our heads cut off". He is a very loving and merciful God who is truly concerned about every detail of our lives.
He changed my DARKNESS into LIGHT ! Are you ready for some LIGHT ? Are you ready for some LIFE ? Read my TESTIMONY To find out how!
"I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." GALATIANS 2:20 KJV
Chippewa^s Testimony Links
Pages were last updated January 02, 2004!